How to use Habits for Littles Mini-units.

5 Tips for Habit Training with Young Children

-by Erin Betancourt

Welcome to habit formation with Habits for Littles! I began this journey myself when my oldest was 3 years old. There sat before me this young child, and inside me I felt a war brewing, pressure from outside and from within. She was old enough for preschool, and somer were beginning to ask what my plan for her was. I had always desired to homeschool, but what did that look like in the preschool years? And I felt a strong sense that I should wait to start formal academics, but was this really the right thing to do? Am I failing my child? Will people judge me? Do I really even believe that is best for her?!

Thankfully, we have a loving and kind God, who know the beginning from the end. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! (Psalm 139:16-17 NIV) He had a good plan for me and family, and He kindly sent me some advice through my best friend. "Erin, I really think you should check out the Charlotte Mason method. It seems that it would be perfect for your." I hesitantly began my internet research, suddenly unsure that my best friend of 20 years really knew me well enough to make such a bold statement regarding my sweet baby's education, and there I found a treasure trove of everything I had desired in education and SO much more than I could have even thought to consider. I quickly fell in love with the Charlotte Mason philosophy of education, her evident love of Christ shone through, weaving through her love of learning and of others, especially children and families. Again my dear friend dropped another bread crumb... habit training. And so began my journey of training up my children with an intentionality behind their habit formation.

To be honest it was a rough start. It became evident that habit formation had already started with my little one (for better or worse), and I sturggled to find the help I was looking for in this area for the pre-academic years, especially that worked in my tight budget. With background in teaching preschool and kindergarten, and knowing that God had given me the skills needed, I began to build for myself some sort of lessons for habit training. Still very new to the Charlotte Mason approach, I dove into the new school year with a rigorous and dry determination to educate my child. Needless to say we were both burnt out by February, and slowly my school year trickled to an early end. Another bread crumb on the trail was discovered though, and the podcast by A Delectable Education became part of my daily diet. With prayer for wisdom and guidance, and a mindset and heart that was gradually shifting, my August was spent drafting out a plan for year two. And oh the mercies of our Lord and His gentle way of leading. The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. (Proverbs 16:9 ESV). Here are a few things I have learned along the way since then:

Tip #1 - Pray... because God has a plan for you!

This can seem like a Christian pat-answer, some obvious unspoken rule... that somehow in real life often gets neglected. But truly, PRAY. James 1:5 says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." And He means it! Since that first year (despite my rigid beginnings and failings) something amazing happens with each and every year - I find that the habits of focus I select in planning, by His goodness and sovereignty, always seem to be hand-selected not only for my children, but for ME! Here are two personal examples: (1) One year I had planned an extra week of winter break, with a re-entry that would finish up our Habit of Music mini-unit, followed by starting a unit on Regularity in Personal Devotions. What I didn't know in that summer planning was the pregnancy loss that would happen that December 30th, that I would need an extra week of winter break before I could even begin to venture back into a daily routine with my children, that I needed an simple and sweet habit (Music) to ease me back in and prompt my heart to make a joyful noise unto the Lord, and that afterwards I would desperately need a pre-planned anchor for my soul - the Habit of Regularity in Personal Devotions - to get my head above water. God was good. He IS good. That habit training season was hand-crafted for my heart. (2) Another time, unaware that we would be moving in May to a different city, I had planned to finish off our school year with the Habit of Observation. What a gift that was from the Lord. Its a habit that didn't really require a lot of stability in our location or daily lives, nor a lot of preparation or supplies (which were packed up). We delayed the end of our school year by a few weeks, but it felt easy to do, as summer is such an easy time to be outside making observations. God has a good plan for you - you will plan your ways (with your own reasoning), and He will direct your path (with wisdom far beyond your scope of knowledge). Pray, and trust that in your prayerful planning His omniscience, His love, His mercies will shine through.

Tip #2 - Cultivate a Home Culture.

Habit formation is not something you do to your child, so much as it is something that is happening all the time passively, from day one. Habit training is when one takes a period of time to focus, with intentionality, on a particular habit. The Habits for Littles Mini-units are purposed to assist parents in presenting to their children with a feast of ideas - through scripture, living books, playful activities, and time in nature - relating to specific habits. It can be tempting to approach habit training activities as a check-list of things to do to get a specific end result, but it's not math and mastery won't be accomplished this side of Glory. Rather, I would encourage you to think of habit training and mini-units as fertilizer and seed used to cultivate a home culture where both you and your children strive to take hold of the righteousness that comes through faith in Christ (Phil. 3:9).

"Education is a life; that life is sustained on ideas; ideas are of spiritual origin, and that we get them chiefly as we convey them to one another. The duty of parents is to sustain a child's inner life with ideas as they sustain his body with food.." – Ms. Mason

Tip #3 - Be Patient and Adaptable.

We work on skills, on habits, because they are lacking. If we were proficient already or had obtained mastery then there would be no need for habit training. This is an important thing to keep in mind, for yourself and your child, in your endeavors. AND, completing a 6-week mini-unit will not be enough time for mastery, or even to become proficient! It will take a lifetime - one quick glance at our lives makes that humbly evident. Remember, you are cultivating a culture where these desired habits are normal part of life, and helping establish a Christ-centered, life-giving path for your child. Be patient, knowing that there will be failings and struggles, maybe even tears at times, and opportunities for frustration. Be adaptable to your child's needs and God-given temperament, and to life's ebbs and flows. Trust that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6). Be patient with those seeds planted, as you work and wait and watch for them to take root, sprout, grow, mature, blossom, and someday produce good fruit that sows seeds for others.

Tip #4 - Be Consistent.

"Why don't you try that again." That's my mantra that your will hear over and over again in my home. It is imperative that you are consistent in encouraging your child to try again when they slip into old, unhelpful, habits. You may also find these words helpful for yourself, when you find yourself lagging in consistency. Don't fret, pick up where you left off, and try again. Developing a habit of intentional habit training and formation takes time, and practice, and trying again and again.

Tip #5 - REST! (Even when you don't need to)

Rest is good, and it is a wonderful, and purposeful, blessing from God. He spent 6 days creating, and on the 7th day He rested... and not because He needed to; God is all-powerful and perfect in all ways, He doesn't wear down like us. He set for us a lovely example, and later even commanded it - REST. You will find that your 6-week Habits for Littles Mini-unit only has 5 weeks worth of activities. This is very intentional, not a product of running out of ideas for content. If you recall from a few paragraphs ago, that first year I burned out, as did my daughter, at the half-way point. We were doing habit focuses back-to-back like it was some sort of time limited experience that needed to be accomplished with urgency, and it was exhausting and grew to be tedious. That 6th week of your mini-unit is intended to be a time to rest, to celebrate growth, to assess areas that need shoring up, and to shift gears to a new habit of focus (don't worry, you can, and perhaps should, cycle back to habit focuses as needed). So, enjoy that week of rest and know that God's created the concept of rest, and that it is a beautiful blessing from Him.

You've got this, because He's got you.

l'll leave you with these closing thoughts from Ms. Mason, "Every day, every hour, the parents are either passively or actively forming those habits in their children upon which, more than upon anything else, future character and conduct depend." It was no mistake that your children have you as parents, God has a good purpose in His planning it as so - for you (and your children's) good and for His glory. Ultimately their hearts are in His hands, Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."